Tonight’s one of those nights I’m super emo about my friends bc they’re all so fantastic and funny and pretty and smart and new friends are great, old friends are fab, I just really like the people in my life
i pray to you today because a nigga need some help. if you could please, just this one time, let zayn malik come into my life, my mouth, my ear, my nose, any orifice, even my armpit god. let his dick clog every hole in my body, even my pores, oh lord. let his penis be my main supply of nutrients for everyday, heavenly father. yea though i walk through the valley of the dick of fine ass niggas, oh lord, i will fear no penis, because you are here to strengthen me. let me suck it with the power you gave moses to move the ocean, lord. let me rapture that dick up in my esophagus oh lord. just do this for me, god, and i promise i’ll stop fuckin white boys. i promise.